Dienstag, 17. Mai 2011

The change of Direction later in life

changing directions
Photo by the UN ragazzo chiamato Bi

ByWendy Thomas

Here is the paradox: more than 50 years, change gets more difficult, and it may also appear even more urgent.

For most of us, life is well established and solidly entrenched behaviour. We can have lived in the same house or city for many years, with the same partner just as long and worked in the same field in all this time. But, just as the concept of retirement begins to loom come on the mental horizon, circumstances or natural processes often conspire to get rid of the runway.

I remember an old much friend telling me many years ago that was going through menopause induced by a strange feeling 'like being in love, but without an object', as she described. Now, my experience tells me the truth of this strange feeling of separation from the previously held assumptions which can often provide the impetus for major change. Women over 50 years may also meet with the syndrome of the suddenly free of the requirements of young adults, empty nest and therefore especially determined to return to their own lives and run it differently.

Other triggers, often more powerful men, include redundancy and early retirement. The abrupt change of status and sense of self often comes with finishing work can easily get rid of the balance and propel us into the major change.

This implies a process, when dissatisfaction with the status quo sets. If this is not resolved by discussions or renegotiating with others directly concerned, the mental recognition of the need for decisive action gets the ball.

There is a lot riding on the change of end of life, and it is not only the concerns of financial insecurity at a time where the income is likely to decrease. It can be scary to leave a relationship in the long term, with thoughts insidious never meet someone else and spending of age alone (and loved in the worst mental scenarios that tend to haunt decision at this stage of life)-old emotionally.

Even what can be considered more positive choices, such as moving house or going to live abroad and enjoy the retirement in the Sun can bring added stress factors at a certain age. What are the chances to close at a new ties of friendship where we left behind people who have known us for thirty or forty years? How will never come to learn a foreign language when we cannot even remember the names of the people we met yesterday?

And the possibility of it all go wrong is even more difficult, because trying to go back can be a change too far without the same energy and negligent confidence of young people.

This change in later life can be difficult for many reasons. But none of these are strong enough to be a bad idea if the seed is actually planted and we deeply know that current circumstances cannot be adapted to make happy and rewarding life that we would like - and, admittedly, we deserve damn well after a long hard work life.

It is never too late to change. I know of 80 years, moving to England in France to begin a new life and good luck to them. I have a friend who, almost 60, left his country house and the use of the decades of living with a new partner and forge a very different life in a small country town. Myself, I have moved abroad and later decided to leave my marriage despite a precarious - let's be honest, positively overwhelming - financial situation. I regret my decision to major change in my mid-50 years? PAS for a moment. I am alive and I am kicking.

Bio of the author:

Wendy Thomas writes about change in later life to the www.late-change.blogspot.com

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